The Healing Power of a Cat
It was 2007 and the close of my marriage, that I suddenly became a single woman managing a plant nursery. I owned a large piece of rural land in Louisiana and had loads of pressure on me. Friends said, “You really need to get a pet. You’re too alone out there.” As Persians were my preferred pet, I drove down to Baton Rouge to purchase a kitten. I walked onto the breeder’s patio, and watched furry, shaded silver kittens tumbling in their cage. One lone, independent Aries kitten was studying a water bottle, totally unaware of my intentional gaze. I had always owned female cats, for fear a male would spray inside my house. However, this little guy, who was completely oblivious to me, was the one who struck my fancy.
During our first vet visit, the doctor said, “You can’t possibly name him Sir Gawain. Sir Gawain was the most handsome, vain knight on King Arthur’s Court.” In response, I muttered, “I don’t care if he’s vain. Doesn’t bother me at all.” As time passed, he did become the most handsome, royal cat that I had ever seen. His attitude, his demeanor, his appearance, all commanded respect. He was very aware of his regalness. He allowed me to train him to be a very well-mannered cat: never begged for people food, no climbing on cabinets or tables, proper litter box etiquette, daily grooming, monthly bathing; he had a thorough understanding of boundaries. On occasion, he even showed a quirky side–in private, of course. He didn’t warm up to most people because they saw him as a “cat”. He was something more.
As a psychic, I pulled many tarot card spreads, performed clearings, feng shui’d spaces, and cast astrology charts. Somehow, Sir Gawain always made a point to engage the metaphysical experiences. I never saw him as my “child”; he was always my best friend. He always made a point to be nearby, no matter where we went. I loved just being in his presence.
Unfortunately for Sir Gawain, he had entered my life at what was to be the darkest adult period in my life. In 2011, I sold my plant business, and instead of going right into my other passion, metaphysics, I whirled around for 4 more years. My life was a spinning tornado that was not ready to touch down. In those years, I became deeply suicidal, and the only thing that kept me hanging on was Gawain. Through tears and suicidal thoughts, I’d imagine, “What would happen to Gawain if I died? Who would find him? He would surely die too.”
We moved next to an apartment, then ended up in a room, as funds began to run out, and I still had not realized where to take my career path. I knew it was to be a healing path, but I could not survive financially on that path in Louisiana. The metaphysical, esoteric path was seen as the devil’s work, and my clients were all closet believers. I was not trained enough in internet marketing to be able to market myself nationwide. It was also at this time that I met my twin flame, Matt.
With my newly budding relationship with Matt, I found that Gawain did not approve. He wanted NOTHING to do with Matt. I did not know how to bring them together even though Matt was deeply attached to felines. Matt saw Gawain as a cat, and he wanted to engage him as a normal cuddly cat. Sir Gawain was NOT having it!
So, Gawain and I spun and spun, as I was unable to determine a clear path. Until finally, we were in dire straits close to homelessness. In a moment of desperation, I decided to take Gawain to a dear lifetime friend, Camilla, who had babysat him over the years. The plan was to move to Florida, regroup, and then return to collect Gawain.
Meanwhile, Camilla, gave Gawain complete freedom to do as he pleased. He began climbing cabinets, drinking water directly from sinks, refused to be brushed, going to the bathroom on beds and shoes, while spending nights outside. I was in panic that I wouldn’t be able to reign him in when he came back to live with me. The night before I left, I dreamed that I was standing in a bathtub with my foster mother during a tornado. Gawain had disappeared. Then the tornado passed and Gawain returned with legs as flexible as a doll. Matt appeared following the tornado.
I went to Florida, seeking a new life. While there, I received telepathic messages from Gawain; he was in total panic! Camilla and her family had gone on vacation over the weekend. I assured him that all was well, that they’d return soon enough. Well after she returned home, Camilla called to tell me that Gawain had locked himself in the closet all weekend.
In a few months, I returned to Louisiana; Matt & I rented a home together, with plans of moving to Colorado one year later. I went to collect Gawain, and he growled at me. He acted like he hated me! He walked away from me and right to Camilla. I was devastated!!!! And humiliated. I had always seen him as an equal, not as a possession, so I respected his desire to stay with Camilla. As I drove home, sucking back tears, I realized a connection to a childhood traumatic event.
You see, my birthmother had me when she was 15 years old, and gave me to a couple when I was 18 months old. At the age of 5, my mother decided to collect me. The foster couple did not want to relinquish rights, but there were no legal papers ever filed for adoption. My mother, Linda, took them to court and won. On the day she was to pick me up, the foster couple created a HUGE dramatic event. Their friends were in the yard, crying & begging. My foster dad was in a fist fight with my mother’s boyfriend. I was running through the house trying to hide. My foster mother, Glena, was a basket case. Linda came into my room, snatched me up and carried me away. I had no support, no healing, nothing but a willingness to survive.
Two years later, at the age of 7, I had endured physical beatings and molestation. Linda allowed me to go live with Glena and her husband in Louisiana. Throughout my childhood, there was no formalized adoption, and I received repeated messages of my birthmother being a flaky, unreliable whore, who never loved me and who just kept birthing children she never raised. I NEVER wanted to be like her. Linda & Glena continued a power struggle with me stuck in the middle. I moved through childhood, traumatized, and later entered therapy as an adult. I cut ties to all toxic parental influences. I worked extensively to heal my wounds, but the one event I never gave much attention–the day of the collection– was buried deep in my subconscious understanding–until Sir Gawain refused to come with me.
As I drove away from Camilla’s house, I saw her as foster Glena, me as birthmother Linda, and Gawain as the child me. For the first time, I was able to see Linda’s perspective. She was coming up against an established woman, an experienced mother, with a beautiful home, marriage, and money. She had nothing. No structure. No relationship. No home. No money. Just a gypsy style life. At the time, Glena had so much more to offer me, just as Camilla had so much more to offer Gawain. So I concluded that I would allow him to stay without forcing my will on him. As someone who does not focus on the past and regrets, I vowed to move forward. However, the tears lasted a long time. I resented Camilla for her bond to my cat, and I understood how my mother must have felt toward Glena.
In 2015, Matt and I moved to Colorado to start a new life. I felt confident that Gawain would have a wonderful life in Camilla’s family and home. However, one year later in Colorado, a funny thing started to happen. Gawain started making appearances in my home and in my dreams. I’d be standing in the kitchen and feel him galloping in the kitchen, happy to be there! I consulted psychics about him, “Is Sir Gawain still alive?” Because of a final conversation with Camilla where she had informed me that Gawain played in attic fiberglass, I surely didn’t suspect that he could survive it. 4 psychics assured me that Gawain had passed over and it was his spirit maintaining connection to me. In my dreams, I reconnected with Gawain; I brought him to live with me. Also, this overwhelming, suffocating sadness began to cover me. It didn’t make sense, considering it had been 3 years since he went to live with Camilla. I couldn’t look at his pictures or talk about him without weeping.
Finally, after I had an all night crying episode, Matt said, “Call Camilla and find out if he’s really dead. Then you will know.”
I pulled cards to see what would transpire. They showed a discontent, dissatisfaction with the status quo. Then a solution being offered. A soul mate relationship that involved a serious choice that would lead to victory.
So, I text her and explained the ongoing dreams and presences, explained that I didn’t feel I had any rights left to him, but I just needed to know if he was alive or dead. She called me, and said, “Yes, he’s alive and happy. But he is, was, and always will be your cat. If you want him back, we are open to that.” We each offered apologies for how we had handled the experience. I was ready to forgive Camilla and release all resentment toward her. She shared stories about Gawain and told me that 3 weeks prior, the house maid had stolen Gawain, and she had to press charges. She also said the groomer had double sedated him. I felt anxiety that he was planning his transition.
Camilla had grown extremely close to Gawain, so this was a huge decision to make. Mercury was retrograde when I called her, so I told her that I needed to meditate, pray, and wait for Mercury to go direct before making any decisions. I wanted my decision to be for the good of all concerned, particularly for Gawain’s best interest. After hanging up, I called one of my staff psychics and conveyed the whole story to her. She laughed and said, “This is so funny that you are talking about a cat. My son ran out of his room 2 days ago saying “There’s a ghost cat in my room!” I sent over pictures of Gawain, and she showed them to her son. His eyes were huge! “Where did you get those pictures? They look just like the cat!” I talked to the boy and asked him what the cat did. He said, “He was sitting on the floor, and he sent me several emotions really fast. Very sad wanting to come back to someone or something. Mommy.” I told Camilla of the news, and she said, “Wow! That’s what we call him. Ghost cat.”
Cards on the Choice: A sudden shock that would release false structures and illusions. A new chapter of emotional healing that would highlight pain and separation eventually resulting in healing of mother issues.
A week passed, I talked with Gawain’s Higher Self as well as my own. I saw that he would end up dead in the street if he stayed with Camilla. I knew that whether I got him or not, his time with Camilla was finished. I was assured that he would be able to slide back into our house rules, and he would develop a close relationship with Matt. My guides told me that the 3 of us: Matt, Sir Gawain & I are all starseed soulmates with a specific soul agreement. He had needed a break from the intense emotional overload and to just “be a cat” when he decided to stay at Camilla’s. They also told me that in my now developed healing work, that Gawain was ready to return to help ground the energy and send healing energy to my clients. As for Matt, now that we were married, Gawain could come back and know his role in the family.
I spent time telepathically sending Gawain pictures of apologies, clearing energy, house rules, close, loving relationship among us all and a happy, healthy home. I asked Matt to feed him, so they could develop a bond. Matt & I also agreed to allow him to come to us for affection and attention. We would give him space to adjust.
I reflected on my role as my mother. I wanted to put Gawain’s needs first above my own. I wanted to make sure this wasn’t a selfish act. I also wanted to be sensitive to Camilla’s feelings too. In addition, I was making a serious follow-through decision. I was making a true, conscious commitment to this relationship with Sir Gawain. We were not complete, far from it. We were about to embark on a spiritual path of healing work. Thus, I took time to do healing sessions on myself because I knew it was important that I clear my old trauma too. I wanted to be fully conscious as I moved through this experience. In truth, it was a scary choice. Was I truly unlike Linda, was I capable of making this lifetime commitment?
Once I felt at peace with my decision, I opted to drive to Louisiana to pick him up. Uncertain of his reaction to me, I felt a lot of anxiety. However, Gawain came right to me when I called him. He nudged Camilla too. He wasn’t ready to be touched yet, so Camilla asked me if I wanted her to hand him to me or if I wanted to pick him up by myself. I asked her to hand him to me, which I felt created a positive, non traumatic closure for all of us.
We brought Sir Gawain home, and he immediately made himself right at home. He claimed Matt and told him to feed him first thing. He warmed up to us, asking for affection by placing a paw on our leg. Then he began to challenge us to chase him about the house. Amazingly, he retained his boundaries. He had not turned into this wild, crazy cat.
I’ve already begun to do healing sessions on him to clear: psychic chords, hooks, contracts, entity attachments, and anything else. During our first session, he began to snore! Camilla went on to get a new himalayan kitten. I firmly believe this story will have a very positive ending for everyone involved.
Ultimately, I listened to my Inner Guidance as well as my psychic gifts. I paid attention, and acted on the guidance given. Essentially, I rewrote a traumatic history, by being the consciousness rather than the pain–thanks to a soulmate named Sir Gawain.
Isaiah 32:3: “And the eyes of them that see shall not be dim, and the ears of them that hear shall hearken.”